Narrator: IT'S "MOVE SOMEWHERE ELSE AND START A BRAND NEW LIFE" WEDNESDAY
T-Rex: Oh sweet, I was waiting for this one.
T-Rex: ATTENTION, EVERYONE I KNOW: y'all are being traded up for strangers, suckachumps!
Dromiceiomimus: I get the appeal of this fantasy, T-Rex, but it kinda died last decade, didn't it?
T-Rex: What? No, the dream is still alive! I'm going to move to a new town and REINVENT MYSELF. A fresh start!
Dromiceiomimus: So what, you think your old friends WON'T be able to find you online? Did we all get super dumb at Google?
Dromiceiomimus: Because I SURE DIDN'T GET SUPER DUMB AT GOOGLE.
T-Rex: I'll delete all my accounts! Social media will be dead to me!
Utahraptor: Where have I heard that before?
Utahraptor: Oh right, only from EVERYONE ON FACEBOOK EVER. And yet, Facebook still has 1/2 a billion people on it! WEIRD, HUH?
T-Rex: Fine, I'm moving away, deleting everything AND legally changing my name. Bye, it's impossible to find me now!!
Narrator: LATER, IT'S "WOW MOVING IS SUPER EXPENSIVE AND I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO SPEND $137 ON THAN CHANGING MY NAME" THURSDAY:
T-Rex: Yep!
T-Rex: ...DVDs of old TV shows mostly, plus, PLUS, I bought lots of slightly-irregular chocolate in bulk
