T-Rex: Ssh! Come closer!
T-Rex: I know secrets!

T-Rex: SECRETS of the MEDICAL PROFESSION!

Narrator: T-REX IN: SECRETS OF THE MEDICAL PROFESSION
Dromiceiomimus: Oh, is this one of those dumb Conspiracy Secrets, wherein fluoride is actually designed to induce pregnancy in freshly married women or something?
T-Rex: What?

T-Rex: 〚thinks〛 Huh?
Utahraptor: So what's the secret?

T-Rex: Oh right! Well, the secret is that when doctors and nurses are "taking your pulse", they're NOT actually doing that!
Utahraptor: Really?
T-Rex: Really! They're actually discreetly observing your breathing. They do it on the sly because if you're aware of it, it changes!

Off panel: Aw man, way to ruin me for any doctor! Now I might have a respiratory problem and I'LL NEVER KNOW.
T-Rex: Hah hah! I am an agent of CHAOS!