Narrator: HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT
T-Rex: Exercise more, eat fewer foods, and enjoy an active and healthy lifestyle!

Narrator: NOW LET'S ASSUME THAT'S ALL BORING AND STUPID
T-Rex: Oooh, let's!!

T-Rex: What we need is a BETTER way to lose weight. And I'm no scientician, but I'm PRETTY SURE when you cry you're squirting matter out of your face. Matter which, I remind you, according to science MUST HAVE MASS AND THEREFORE WEIGHT HERE ON EARTH??
Dromiceiomimus: You propose we lose weight by genetically altering our bodies so we cry fat instead of water?
T-Rex: I was just gonna say we should cry all the time. That's way better!!

Utahraptor: But why stop there? Why not sweat grease instead, so hot days make us skinnier AND tastier-smelling?

Utahraptor: Why not change our skin cells to be replaced faster, so we'll constantly lose weight by leaving gross dust clouds of dead skin flakes everywhere we go? WHY NOT ALLOW OUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEMS TO OPERATE IN "FULL REVERSE", EXTRACTING NUTRIENTS FROM OUR OWN BODIES SO THAT WE MIGHT VOMIT UP PERFECTLY GOOD CHEESEBURGERS?

T-Rex: Utahraptor! Are these questions rhetorical, or are you actually asking me reasons why we shouldn't do this?
T-Rex: Because dude, I am comin' up EMPTY HANDED over here