T-Rex: One day Jim clicked on a link for "8 Things You're Doing Wrong Every Day... Number 6 Will Blow Your Mind" and number 6 truly did blow his mind. He shook. He wept like his soul was emptying itself of a lifetime of burden.
T-Rex: Jim had become the person clickbait headline writers think we ALL are!
T-Rex: He'd watch videos of people bringing pets on planes and literally COULD NOT BELIEVE what happened next: his opinions as to what had happened next were the platonic form of scepticism: perfect, universal. He would read Eleven Facts About Cats You'll Never Forget and HE WOULD TAKE THOSE FACTS TO HIS GRAVE. His faith in humanity was being destroyed and restored ON THE REGULAR.
Utahraptor: Jim sounds awful.
T-Rex: He really was!!
T-Rex: He had no personality of his own, no opinions, no identity beyond what some scammy website trading the stolen time of strangers for some ad money told him to have. But his suggestibility did make him EXTREMELY USEFUL as an assassin, as long as you kept him away from the internet!
T-Rex: Hence my new series: "I Left My Superspy Assassin Husband At Home With His License To Kill And This Happened! I Can't Believe It!"
T-Rex: Subtitled: "The Evil Dictator He Assassinated Next Will Blow Your Mind"??