T-Rex: It'd be nice if people were more flirty with me. It'd make me feel attractive.
T-Rex: Luckily, computers can solve this problem!!
T-Rex: Thanks, computers!!
T-Rex: I wrote a script that turns all :) into ;) and HEY PRESTO, suddenly people are waaay more suggestive with me. Especially in ways I don't understand, but am interested in finding out more about!
Dromiceiomimus: Yeah, but how often do people use :) when emailing you?
T-Rex: A lot, once I wrote another script that randomly adds it at the end of sentences!
Utahraptor: And you do this to all your emails?
T-Rex: What is this, amateur hour?
T-Rex: I use deep-packet inspection to add it to ALL INCOMING INTERNET TRAFFIC. Even websites now flirt with me!
Utahraptor: And it works?
T-Rex: Hells yes! Hey, what's it like NOT having amazing maxed-out self-esteem? BECAUSE I WOULDN'T KNOW ANYMORE.
Narrator: LATER, T-REX BROWSES THE NEWS:
T-Rex: "Three Serial Killers Still At Large In Area ;)"
T-Rex: Huh!
T-Rex: That's only SLIGHTLY terrifying!
