T-Rex: Damn you, database! You're a loose cannon! Your CPU usage grows every day and your disk I/O is off the chart!
T-Rex: I should fire you, but instead I'm giving you a raise and recalibrating my charts!
Dromiceiomimus: I said this database was bad news, T-Rex!
T-Rex: I know; I should've listened to you three years and four ulcers ago! But damn it, this database gets results! I've got three upstart databases here that'd LOVE a shot at his job, and not one of them can do in five CPU cycles what he does in three.
Utahraptor: That's a 66% improvement over their efficiency!
T-Rex: I know! That's actually really good!
T-Rex: But I just wish I could trust him to follow the damn rules. He reindexes data AGAINST MY ORDERS at all hours of the night: what's he looking for? What will it take for him to settle down - and if he does, will it cost him his edge? Will I get a more stable server farm but lose my best database in the bargain??
Narrator: LATER:
T-Rex: Oh wait, hah hah, a hardware failure was causing all that reindexing churn and once I swapped out the bad disk and rebuilt the array it stopped and we're good now!
T-Rex: PHEW, AM I RIGHT??
