T-Rex: Who's been going around to websites saying "You'll engage readers when you end articles with a question"? Attention, websites that do this: I am going to say this as a friend, as a sassy friend who'll pull you aside and give you some REAL TALK.
T-Rex: Honey! You look pathetic and desperate!
Sound effect: *snap*
T-Rex: You're walking up to a group of strangers and saying "Hey guys, I heard there's a sweet party at my house tonight. What do you think? Are you going to come? Let me know in the comments!"
Dromiceiomimus: That analogy kinda - fell apart at the end there.
T-Rex: That analogy kinda - needs to let people know that I've got some opinions!
T-Rex: About websites!
Utahraptor: This is sort of a first world problem, yes?
T-Rex: Yes! Absolutely!
T-Rex: But once you see it you can't unsee it. It's this new form of terrible, insecure, needy writing, and yet it's suddenly EVERYWHERE.
Utahraptor: So don't read those websites!
T-Rex: I'm not looking for logical solutions, Utahraptor! I look now only for SYMPATHY RAGE.
Narrator: TEN YEARS LATER:
T-Rex: Who's been going around saying "You'll engage readers when you end articles with ultra-res ultraporn"??
T-Rex: ...
T-Rex: Yes, the future is indeed a strange and unusual place
