God: T-REX ISN'T YOUR BIRTHDAY COMING UP SOON
T-Rex: It is!
God: AND ARE YOU EXCITED FOR THE CELEBRATION
T-Rex: I am!
God: AND HAVE YOU ACHIEVED YOUR LIFE-LONG GOAL OF BECOMING IMMORTAL YET
T-Rex: I -
T-Rex: Oh yeah.
T-Rex: Okay guys: I've seriously got to become immortal, STAT.
Utahraptor: Why not just enjoy the time you've got?
Utahraptor: There's been tons of folks in every previous generation who wanted to be immortal, and I don't see any of them still kicking around.
T-Rex: Aha, but were THEY motivated by an acute awareness of their failures and compromises, brought on by the anniversary of my birth??
Narrator: SOON:
T-Rex: I'm still not immortal, but I HAVE managed to recontextualize birthday cakes into second-place consolation prizes for failing to achieve immortality! Now all birthday parties are super depressing.
T-Rex: ...Go me?
