Narrator: STUPID DUMB ADVERTISING SLOGAN TECHNIQUES
T-Rex: There are tons of stupid dumb advertising slogan techniques! Oh my goodness, they're so terrible. Let's consider a few, such as...
T-Rex: ...Style! As in "bakery-style" buns!
T-Rex: This word "style" promises authenticity but delivers the cruelest of approximations. This is the same "style" you'll see in when I offer "enthusiastic-style kisses", "food-style protein digestibles", or when you discover your bakery-style buns were baked by an AUTOMATON with a CONVEYER-BELT OVEN MOUTH and PRESSURE DIAL eyes.
T-Rex: ...which is actually awesome, so um, let's put this one down in the "actually awesome" column.
Utahraptor: What about self comparatives? That's where something is pitched as "30% less fat", but it's still fatty!
Utahraptor: It's just got less fat than the manufacturers own, comparatively fattier product.
T-Rex: That's me punching you in the face, saying "Try my other fist, now with 30% less fat!" and then punching you again! ..Which is also rad. Huh. I guess I like THIS ad slogan too!
Narrator: LATER, T-REX IS UPDATING HIS DATING PROFILES:
T-Rex: "I can't stay upset around analogies involving robots OR fight scenes."
T-Rex: Man!
T-Rex: Colour me dateable!!
