T-Rex: Someone thinks my email address belongs to somebody else! They keep sending me pictures of their newborn baby, addressed to one "René Wellek". As such, I HAVE BECOME RENÉ WELLEK.
T-Rex: The course of my life has now been set!
T-Rex: Normally when this happens, I write back the sender and let them know they've got the wrong address, but this time is different. They sent me four separate sets of baby pictures, covering the first four days of her life! I've already seen this baby grow up four days! I have a RELATIONSHIP with her now, and I've decided: I'm in for the long haul.
Utahraptor: You're not going to correct them?
T-Rex: Nope!
T-Rex: I've become their silent friend René, watching this baby grow up over the years. I'll see her first steps! Her first birthday! And in 18 or so years, I'll have tears in my eyes as my computer pings and her high school grad pictures download into my inbox...
Utahraptor: Little creepy, T-Rex!
Narrator: THAT EVENING:
Text: Okay, here's the news: I am not your friend René but I am just as good. My name is T-Rex and I am a good role model. I brush my teeth regularly and when I forget to I tell myself to try HARDER. Basically, what I am saying here is "I am a stranger on the internet who has taken a particular interest in your child"
T-Rex: Perfect!
