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Heading: AMAZING AND TRUE STORIES FROM THE LIFE OF UTAHRAPTOR
Heading: also starring T-REX

Text: This morning I skipped breakfast and met T-Rex for lunch. He seemed excited. He always seems excited.

Text: I asked him why, and it turned out that Dromiceiomimus had a customer service issue with a shipping company, and wanted T-Rex to call because he's better at these sorts of things. They'd failed to deliver her package four times now. T-Rex already has "suckified delivery companies" on his revenge list (he'd said), so he was pleased to call. He spent ten minutes listing all the ways suckified delivery companies had made his life worse, got a full head of steam, and called them up. Long story short, the package had actually been delivered that morning. T-Rex claims victory.

Text: I actually ran into him (almost literally) later that afternoon, and we discussed it some more.

Text: My contrarian position (I freely admit it) was that he was wrong to chew out the lady on the phone: with companies this size, there's no way she was responsible for the package. Responsibility is so diffused that really, nobody is responsible - it's a system failure, and the person in the call centre can't change the system. He replied that as his only contact point, agents should expect complaints and offer solutions - he's not going to make allowances for someone else's broken system. We agreed to differ.

Text: I realize that this is my diary for the new year, and all I've written about so far is T-Rex. The responsibility for this, I feel, lies solely in this Christmas gift "stationary" from T-Rex himself. He's drawn himself in every panel, and the same pre-printed title takes up all the space in the first one. Still - grocery shopping's more fun.
T-Rex: pick up eggs
T-Rex: eggs are great
T-Rex: you can put them on your plate