Narrator: DATING TIPS COMICS
Narrator: now featuring: tips i found in this one book!
T-Rex: Here are some HOT TIPS for FIRST DATES, cats and kittens!
T-Rex: Okay! The first tip is this: to find out if your date is REALLY into you, all you have to do is push a salt shaker over to their side of the table! If he's interested in you, he'll pick it up and play with it, but if he's NOT interested, he'll push it back to your side. The salt shaker represents your feelings here, okay? And playing with a salt shaker represents ROMANTIC INTENT.
Utahraptor: That's stupid! It's semantically overloading practical actions.
T-Rex: See, I thought so too!
T-Rex: But I just thought I was crazy, because why would someone put out a dating book if all they had were sucky tips that can TOTALLY FAIL if the guy just wants saltier, and therefore tastier, fries? I could write a better dating book. IN FACT...!
Utahraptor: Aw no, no, you don't -
Book cover: MEET SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T SUCK THEN TRY KISSING THEM
Book cover: A BOOK THAT WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN
