T-Rex: People who nearly die often report a clarity afterwards: after having faced their own mortality and survived, they have a new focus and drive in the world, and petty irrelevancies fall away!
T-Rex: As a guy who sometimes has trouble getting up in the morning, THIS SOUNDS GREAT.
T-Rex: Sign ME up for some clarity, please!! The catch is, of course, that I need to nearly die for it to happen. And it has to be a REAL near-death, otherwise I'll never undergo that life-altering change in perception available only to those who have survived the crucible or whatever.
T-Rex: Oh well!!
Utahraptor: But T-Rex, you're having near-death experiences constantly!
T-Rex: Explain!
Utahraptor: Maybe lying in bed a bit longer kept you from a traffic accident! Maybe napping in the shower prevented you from having the time to make breakfast, AND THEN CHOKING ON IT! The very fact you're here is a testament to how you've avoided these deaths! You're a walking, talking, best case scenario!!
Narrator: AND SO:
T-Rex: Yeah, but what if NOT eating this whole thing of ice cream is what kills me?! Riddle me that, DOCTOR.
Off panel: T-Rex
Off panel: This isn't what house calls are supposed to be
