T-Rex: Amazonas Mali, who was not Batman, stared out through her garden window. The slow speed of her dahlias coming in concerned her. "Perhaps," she muttered, "the pH balance of the fertilizer is not appropriate for my dahlias."

T-Rex: The not Batman character sipped her tea, considering the matter.

T-Rex: But soon dahlias faded from her thoughts, as worries for her adult son, Bruce - not Bruce Wayne, another Bruce, who was also not Batman - came to the forefront. She'd recently renegotiated her mortgage at a 2.5% APR, which concerned her as much as crime concerned Batman, who - again - this character is not. Amazonas got out a pencil and, frowning, began computing interest.

Utahraptor: How come you keep mentioning how Amazonas isn't Batman?
T-Rex: Because she's not!

T-Rex: But Batman's SO GREAT, it puts all of us writing NON-Batman stories at a disadvantage. I thought that by MENTIONING Batman, people would think "Oh hey, cool, maybe Batman will show up soon to help with those dahlias." Plus, LEGALLY I'm in the clear, since everyone is very clearly NOT Batman!!

Narrator: BUT NOBODY LIKES T-REX'S STORY:
T-Rex: Fine. COMPUTER! Global search/replace: "Amazonas" with "Batman", and "not Batman" with "absolutely Batman"!
T-Rex: ...
T-Rex: COMPUTER! What the heck, how come I can't talk to you like this yet??