God: HEY MERRY CHRISTMAS T-REX
T-Rex: Hey, thanks God!
T-Rex: Uh... I didn't get you anything?
God: TYPICAL
T-Rex: Classic me, yep!!
T-Rex: But what do you get the man who not only HAS everything, but has CREATED everything, assuming you believe in a book he sponsored wherein he totally takes 100% of the credit for everything ever??
God: ALSO THE BOOK IS EXTREMELY LONG
T-Rex: Yeah also the book is so big it's got several smaller SUB-BOOKS included within it. Wow, THAT'S not a terrible idea at all!!
Utahraptor: So your major Bible issue is it's too long.
T-Rex: It's a reasonable complaint!
T-Rex: Here's an UNreasonable complaint: it's not typeset entirely in Comic Sans. When you open it up there's no speakers playing the Batman theme song. Not ONE Magic Eye unicorn battle appears in the margins when you cross your eyes.
Utahraptor: I - I really want a copy of your Bible now.
T-Rex: Right?!
God: FRIG MAN DO YOU THINK IT'S TOO LATE TO REBOOT THE UNIVERSE AND MAKE THAT THE CANONICAL BIBLE VERSION
T-Rex: Well, would anything else change?
God: HONESTLY
God: KINDA FINDING IT HARD TO CARE ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW
