T-Rex: The time: 1492. Columbus sets foot off his boat onto a land he'd like to name "Columbustopia 2000" but has recently been convinced to call "America" for now.
T-Rex: He's on what appears to be a pristine shore, a perfect scene of wilderness!!
T-Rex: Of course, we all know what happened next. Once he and his men left the beach, the forest wilderness shimmered and faded, revealing its holographic nature. Columbus was about to discover the terrible secret of Earth: that America was not a continent. It was a SPACESHIP: an ancient crashed colony ship from a race of expansionist, technology-obsessed ALIENS held in suspended animation.
T-Rex: And he'd just woken them up.
Utahraptor: The war with the reanimated spaceship crew was disastrous!
T-Rex: For native Earth life, absolutely!
T-Rex: Their superior tech and inhuman biological warfare techniques nearly wiped intelligent life off the planet. Disease emptied entire cities of their inhabitants, unknown futuristic weaponry killing those that remained. A brutal regime of assimilation worked to wipe out any remaining Earth culture. But... SOME survived!
Narrator: HISTORY:
Narrator: •ARGUABLY MORE INTERESTING WHEN YOU FLIP IT AROUND
Narrator: •DEFINITELY MORE INTERESTING WHEN YOU REALIZE EUROPEANS WERE THE BORG ALL ALONG
