T-Rex: One day Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive dog!
T-Rex: Science dictates this gave him the proportional speed and strength of a dog!
T-Rex: So, yeah, he started getting kinda strong. Not unrealistically strong, because the dog that bit him wasn't THAT tough, but he was at least, you know, above average. He was pretty strong.
T-Rex: Oh I almost forgot! He also got a great sense of smell, softer and more pettable body hair, and now regulated his internal temperature by panting!!
Utahraptor: And did his vision get worse?
T-Rex: Oh, way worse, absolutely.
T-Rex: Then his brain started transforming into a dog brain, which was unable to sustain many of his higher functions, including most of those responsible for memory and language. Anyway, yeah, it was horrible.
Utahraptor: Did his friends call him Peter BARKER?
T-Rex: No. That would be monstrous.
T-Rex: THE END
T-Rex: Oh P.S.! He was house trained in reverse but could no longer operate a toilet??
