Narrator: IMPORTANT INFORMATION REGARDING THE RECALL AFFECTING YOUR BODY
T-Rex: Hello! You are reading this message because you have been a patron of our "Physical Body Made of Meat" product in the past several million years.

T-Rex: We regret to inform you that an issue has been discovered with your body!

T-Rex: Besides the known issues of Bug 24442 ("aging"), Bug 59804 ("body gets smelly if I use it"), and Bug 2 ("poop comes out the butt?!"), a new vulnerability has been discovered with the "heart" hardware installed in your body. Known as "commotio cordis", it's a 30 millisecond long window during each heartbeat wherein an impact to your chest could, um... stop your heart and kill you instantly.
T-Rex: WHOOPS

Utahraptor: Is every single heartbeat vulnerable for instadeath?
T-Rex: Yes.

Utahraptor: I see. Can I return my body for a new one?
T-Rex: No, this isn't that kind of recall. This is more the, "you should RECALL this crazy vulnerability whenever something comes close to your chest" sort of thing. Okay bye!
T-Rex: Enjoy your bod!

Narrator: OH! ONE MORE THING ABOUT BODIES:
T-Rex: Um, sorry we didn't build them better??
Narrator: THE END