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food really is just pals you eat
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–Their life is now OBJECTIVELY WORSE because of me!
The haps: Remember how I warned you that cephelopods were creepy? Remember how all you said was "hah hah OH RYAN". REMEMBER?

WELL NOBODY LISTENED TO ME AND NOW HERE'S AN ARTICLE WITH THE HEADLINE "COOKED SQUID INSEMINATES WOMAN'S 'TONGUE, CHEEK AND GUMS'"; I REALLY HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY

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