T-Rex: History is pretty good if you want to know what MIGHT have happened in the time before breakfast this morning! But most histories fail to account for one very important thing: TWINS.
T-Rex: Specifically, hidden and previously-unknown identical twins!
T-Rex: Sure, a bunch of witnesses saw Famous Historical Figure get shot. But maybe that was his TWIN! Maybe FHF survived and went into hiding and WALKS AMONG US STILL.
Dromiceiomimus: Because if nobody saw him die then maybe he's still alive?
T-Rex: PRECISELY. History doesn't know! History spends all its time saying "come on what are the odds of surprise twins" and not enough time saying "wait, turns out the odds are 1:1!!!"
Utahraptor: This makes for some pretty dumb plotlines / actual histories!
T-Rex: Pretty awesome ones, you mean!
T-Rex: Check it out: Jesus gets crucified, then three days later his heretofore unknown identical twin shows up and takes his place! Oh snap! TWIST!!
Utahraptor: Really, that's your new history? Really? Really.
T-Rex: My friend, I don't know much about "Bible", but that is a way better plotline.
God: I KINDA THINK MY VERSION IS BETTER SINCE IT HAS SUPERPOWERS
T-Rex: I dunno - are superpowers ALWAYS better than evil twins??
God: WAIT NOW HE'S EVIL YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT
God: OKAY LISTEN
God: YOU'VE GOT FIVE MINUTES
God: WOW ME