T-Rex: You and your friends stand in a field, alone, too far away to really talk to each other. You wait there while someone else's friends line up and take turns hitting balls at you. And it's not like they're soft. They're really hard.
T-Rex: You can catch them if you want.
Narrator: BASEBALL
Narrator: AS SHE IS PLAYED
T-Rex: If you catch the ball, then they don't get a point, nothing changes, and we've all been wasting our time. If you DON'T catch the ball, then they get to run in a big circle and get some points based on how much of a circle they ran in.
T-Rex: A full circle is worth a whopping one point! Oh. Also, no fractional points are awarded.
T-Rex: Have fun, you guys!
Utahraptor: This doesn't sound like a very interesting game!
T-Rex: Hah! Oh, Utahraptor.
T-Rex: Baseball isn't played because it's INTERESTING. Baseball is played because without darkness we would not appreciate the light: without sorrow, we would not appreciate joy. Baseball makes us savour life and reminds us to treasure every second we have on this beautiful planet, because such moments may never come again.
T-Rex: Baseball is played, my dear friend, because without it we would not appreciate the times when we don't have to play baseball.
Narrator: THE END
