T-Rex: Folks are always all, "What's the best form of government? DEMOCRACY. I love democracy, a bloo bloo bloo".
T-Rex: Walk it off, democracy lovers!

T-Rex: Contact me at suckitup@walkitoff.net, democracy lovers!

T-Rex: Democracy is OLD HAT. You know what democracy is? Democracy is long-term stuff never getting done, because short-term gains are what get folks re-elected. It had a good run, but now it's time for a more awesome -cracy, one that I just found out about because the Wikipedia random article button brought me to something that wasn't some stats on a crappy river for once.

Utahraptor: Ochlocracy? Isocracy? Stratocracy?
T-Rex: PORNOCRACY.

T-Rex: Rule by prostitutes! And I didn't make it up. The word's been used in historical times to refer to when popes were influenced by women!
Utahraptor: That's super sexist! Powerful women aren't necessarily SEX WORKERS.
T-Rex: Um, that's history??

Banner: HISTORY: SUPER SEXIST
T-Rex: Hello?! This is not a suprising moral! History is also like twenty kinds of racist!
T-Rex: I KINDA THOUGHT THAT WAS THE REASON WE ALL DECIDED NOT TO LIVE THERE??

April 27th, 2011: Last night's Machine of Death Talent Show was super great! It was a packed house and the acts were hilarious and amazed EVEN ME. We'll try to get as much as we can of it online, for those who missed it! Here's a taste, "Prevenge" by Matt Bixler:

And at the end of the show we took the opportunity to announce something that we're all really excited for, a little thing called, oh I don't know,

MACHINE OF DEATH 2

Did you like the book and wish you'd heard about it when we first solicited stories, half a decade ago? Are you an artist who wants to illustrate a picture in which FOLKS MIGHT DIE OR CONSIDER THEIR OWN MORTALITY AT LEAST?? Are you excited to read more stories in the Machine of Death Universe, exploring all the things we didn't in the first book? I hope the answer to each AND/OR ALL of these questions is "yes", because oh man, I am SUPER EXCITED for this!

We're taking submissions from May 1st to July 15th. Just like last time, we don't care who you are or if you've never written anything before, we just care that your story is awesome. These are open submissions, and I've said before that I've got the most talented readers in the world. This is your chance to impress us, to impress everyone, and to have your work reach a huge audience! The last book showed the world the power of the internet to make awesome things happen, sold five thousand copies in a single day, and went straight to the #1 position on Amazon.

Hey. I think we can do better.

Submission guidelines here! And if you haven't read the book yet, here's a complete PDF copy!

One year ago today: if you are about to argue that a story can be made worse by the addition of a robot suit, i would advise you to first ask yourself, "is what i am about to argue EVEN POSSIBLE??"

– Ryan