T-Rex: Let's say you're alone in the universe with a deck of cards, and you're like, "Welp, guess I'll sort this deck of cards"! And then you're like, "Welp, guess I'll make it possible to lose at sorting this deck of cards"!

Narrator: SOLITAIRE AS SHE IS PLAYED

T-Rex: So you put the cards into piles and move them around according to a bunch of rules that somebody else invented. And eventually you'll say "Man, this game, what's the deal with this game, probably I should cheat at this game". But you're playing all by yourself! Who are you cheating? Yourself? The game? Would it help if I told you that almost 20% of solitaire games are PROVABLY UNWINNABLE?

Utahraptor: No way it's that high!
T-Rex: Science confirms it!!

T-Rex: You're doomed to lose a non-trivial amount of the time, and it's not like it's going to happen in some super interesting way. The only novel way to lose is by dying in real life, but you only get to do that ONCE, and if you do, your last words are "Oh look, a four of hearts. I can put that on the three of hearts."

T-Rex: As far as last words go: a solid eight on ten??