Narrator: FACTS ABOUT GIRAFFES
Narrator: PRINT OUT THIS COMIC AND PUT IT IN YOUR WALLET!

Narrator: THAT WAY, YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE ACCESS TO FACTS ABOUT GIRAFFES

T-Rex: Did you know that ancient Greeks thought giraffes were a mixture of camel and leopard? Scientists still call giraffes "Giraffa camelopardalis" because everyone's afraid that if we change it, the ancient Greeks will be SO CHEEZED OFF that they'll all come back to life! ANGRY SKELETON LIFE!!
Dromiceiomimus: I didn't know the factual part of that, no

T-Rex: Giraffes have the lowest sleep needs of any land mammal!
Utahraptor: Only about 1.9 hours a day!
T-Rex: NICE.

Utahraptor: Female giraffes use their hooves to protect their young!
T-Rex: Man, they can kick LIONS to death! One kick can shatter a lion's SKULL. That's ultimate badass!
Utahraptor: Pretty sure that's ultimate badass!

Narrator: I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THESE GIRAFFE FACTS! NOW WHEN SOMEONE STEALS YOUR WALLET THEY'LL LEARN SOME FACTS ABOUT GIRAFFES.
Narrator: AT LEAST SOME GOOD CAN COME OUT OF THESE UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCES
Narrator: UM, FOR THE DUDE WHO STOLE YOUR WALLET I MEAN