T-Rex: Performative utterances are things that you can say, and hey presto, you've changed your life and the world around you! You've changed your life with WORDS. Like the Shahadah, this is insane! This is totally insane.
T-Rex: Let's do it!!
T-Rex: There's simple ones like "I promise to clean my room" (your future is now altered), but there's bigger ones like "I now pronounce you husband and wife": you weren't married before, and now, oh my God you guys, you're totally married! And then there's "I hereby christen this ship 'HMS Sinkytowne'" and "I sentence you to death by misadventure".
Dromiceiomimus: Saying "We declare war" is the same, isn't it?
T-Rex: Sure is!!
Utahraptor: Yeah, but you're only legally married when you sign the paperwork!
T-Rex: Well -
Utahraptor: And it's the same with christenings and sentences AND declarations of war: they all require paperwork! I'D argue that the performative utterance is just part of the ceremony, and that the real change is made when you sign on the dotted line.
T-Rex: Well, I mean... that's just our society?
God: T-REX YOU WOULD HAVE EASILY WON THIS ARGUMENT IF YOU'D MADE IT BEFORE THE INVENTION OF PAPER
T-Rex: Ah well. I'm still glad we invented paper!
God: ME TOO
God: OTHERWISE WHAT WOULD THE HMS SINKYTOWNE BE MADE OUT OF
