T-Rex: Hey! Are you interested in pressing your lips against the lips of another person with lips? Then you need to know...

Narrator: HOW
Narrator: TO
Narrator: KISS

T-Rex: There are three types of kisses: friend kisses to say "why hello there", romance kisses to say "why HELLO there", and legal kisses to say "why hello there, I agree to exchange 55% of my shares for distribution in kind of yours". The good news is that these kisses are all pretty common and generally interchangeable, so you just need one set of tips to cover all three!

Utahraptor: And those tips are...?
T-Rex: Being disseminated now, hot lips!

T-Rex: Tip 1: Employ as much pressure as you use when pushing a kitchen drawer shut using only your lips. Tip 2: Never forget that kissing is the act of tasting the bacteria-rich end of someone else's digestive tract. Tip 3: Enjoy!
Utahraptor: Oh. Oh no.

Off panel: Now I never want to kiss anyone ever again.
T-Rex: Oh I forgot Tip 4: Make sure you get as good as you give in any fluid exchange!
T-Rex: DON'T GET RIPPED OFF!!