T-Rex: People STILL think "For sale: baby shoes, never worn" is the saddest six word story! This is OBJECTIVELY FALSE ("Everyone just pretends to like you" is even SADDER) (AND TRUE, OH SNAP), but six words is straight-up amateur hour.

T-Rex: I can do the saddest FIVE word story: "For sale: baby shoes, unworn"!
T-Rex: Tada!!

Dromiceiomimus: Not bad, not bad. But the mettle of any true writer is measured by a sad story in a mere FOUR words.
T-Rex: Pfft. "Sale: unworn baby shoes". DONE. And before you ask for three words, may I just say...
T-Rex: "For sale: BABY."

T-Rex: SO SAD! They're selling the baby because they need the money and babies are expensive!!
Utahraptor: Ah.

Utahraptor: But let's cut to the chase: can you do a sad TWO-word story?
T-Rex: NO PROBLEM: "Baby sale". Or, for the shoes: "Debabyfied Minishoes".
Utahraptor: Amazing! But now I must give you your ULTIMATE CHALLENGE: the saddest ONE-WORD story!!

T-Rex: Watch as I invoke the sale of two (duo) new (neo) pre-baby (protonatal) artificial (pseudo) feet enclosements (circumpod or pedi)! In other words, or rather, word: DUONEOPROTONATALPSEUDOCIRCUMPEDISALE.
T-Rex: And YES, if I had a mic on me I'd be dropping it SO HARD RIGHT NOW, PEACE