Narrator: LET'S MAKE ANOTHER FOOD
T-Rex: Hello and welcome to Let's Make Another Food! Today we'll be making "apple pie from scratch".
T-Rex: If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe!
T-Rex: Carl Sagan said it, and we respect a man who has such a deep, fundamentalist understanding of "from scratch"! So we'll be devoting our time to studying protouniversal dynamics in the hopes of creating a small, stable, personal universe in which apple trees might eventually be induced to grow.
T-Rex: Harvesting will be left as an exercise to the reader.
T-Rex: Okay, so we start with a superheated and dense force-unified space -
Utahraptor: - where'd it come from? Who made it??
T-Rex: Dude, who cares? We're not investigating our own origins here. WE'RE JUST MAKING DESSERT. All we need is a complete understanding of the universe as it was between time zero and 10^-43 seconds later and we're set!
Utahraptor: So dessert is delayed?
T-Rex: DESSERT COMES WHEN I GAIN ACCESS TO A PARTICLE ACCELERATOR.
Narrator: LATER:
T-Rex: THANK YOU FOR COMING OVER FOR DINNER, HERE ARE REHEATABLE PIES FROM MCDONALD'S FOR DESSERT
T-Rex: YES, THEY ARE NOT WHAT I PROMISED YOU
T-Rex: YES, I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT
