Narrator: CASE FILE #4523 FROSTY THE SNOW MAN
T-Rex: Thank you all for coming: I remind you this meeting is classified. We begin with an old silk hat, a corncob pipe, a button nose, and two eyes made out of coal.

T-Rex: We end with an unpredictable snow golem disrespecting all authority, police or otherwise!

T-Rex: The "Frosty" artifact also performed dance which encouraged delinquency in children, whether through supernatural means or otherwise. While our Agents were unable to apprehend "Frosty" during that chaotic hour after his apparently-accidental creation, we have tracked him since his disappearance sixty-two years ago.
Dromiceiomimus: Our latest intelligence suggests the creature is hiding near the polar regions, as he has revealed a weakness to solar radiation.

T-Rex: Recovering his "old silk hat" is paramount.
Utahraptor: By now, it's likely carried within his body's core!

Utahraptor: Both disappeared over the hills of snow and have not been seen since. Past these hills the footprints grew larger, apparently gathering snow with each step. Before their end at some mountain foothills, they were over 3m wide, 5m long, and suggested the development of claws.
Utahraptor: If seen, "Frosty" is to be contained but not approached.

T-Rex: The silk hat, if placed in oceanic contact, will likely produce a chaotic planet-wide intelligence of at least Level 12. We believe "Frosty" doesn't realize this yet. Remember: DO NOT WEAR THE HAT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
T-Rex: Okay, dismissed! And may God have mercy on us all!