T-Rex: Dan watched proudly as his daughter Kayleigh walked out of the playground. "I'm tired," she said. "Hi, Tired," said her father. "I'm Dan."

Narrator: GRITTY REBOOTS OF DAD JOKES

T-Rex: But suddenly Dan noticed her face: too tight, like cellophane stretched across something that was lumpy in all the wrong places. She yawned, and he could see her mouth - full of teeth, going all the way down her throat. This - this wasn't his daughter.
Dromiceiomimus: She noticed his reaction.

Utahraptor: An alarm seemed to come from within his daughter's shining torso: "CHAMELEON CIRCUITS FAILING"!

T-Rex: It was then he realized: his words had been right all along. This creature in front of him was just as he'd said: a Tritanium Intelligent Robotic Evil Doppelganger. His daughter had become T.I.R.E.D. - and NO-ONE COULD SAY FOR HOW LONG.

Off panel: Is this supposed to be gritty? It just sounds awesome. She's made of living liquid metal, right?
T-Rex: *sigh*
T-Rex: Yeah, she's so awesome and all her dad's problems are about to get WAY more interesting