T-Rex: Rapunzel had been locked in a tower! She was trapped, but on the bright side, her weird hair would grow indefinitely. It was, she considered while trapped alone without food in an isolated tower, a pretty crappy bright side.

Narrator: RAPUNZEL
Narrator: a peer-reviewed fairy tale

T-Rex: So Rapunzel soon died of starvation, which is what happens to anyone who is locked in a tower with no way down. However, through mechanisms that are famously explored elsewhere (G. Basile, 1634; W. and H. Grimm et al., 1812) her hair continued to grow after her death, at a constant rate. Soon the tower was filled with human hair.

Utahraptor: Oh, I know this story! You can climb up her hair to get to the top!
T-Rex: For the first generation, it was fun, sure!

T-Rex: And for the next, the field of hair with a tower in the middle was a tourist attraction. But 10 generations later it was a pestilence: the hair couldn't be burned, trimmed, or tamed as it spread across the countryside. Farms and villages were subsumed, abandoned to the relentlessly encroaching hair.

T-Rex: The origins of the hair were long lost to legend by the time it finally covered the oceans, ending photosynthesis below and causing the complete global food chain collapse.
T-Rex: THE END.