Narrator: HOW TO WIN AT CHESS
T-Rex: First, you start a game of chess with Dromiceiomimus where she plays white!
T-Rex: Then you start a game of chess with Utahraptor where he plays black!
T-Rex: THEN whatever Dromiceiomimus does in her game you do in Utahraptor's, and whatever Utahraptor does in response you do to Dromiceiomimus! In effect, Dromiceiomimus and Utahraptor are playing each other, BUT WITH ONE IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE: you're going to win at least one of these games! Congratulations: YOU ARE NOW WINNING AT CHESS. "Check and mate," you can say!
T-Rex: You should probably say that, actually.
Utahraptor: You're only ever going to win half of these games!
T-Rex: Sure! But I'm GUARANTEED that 50% win!
T-Rex: And that guarantee holds no matter what strength of players I go up against. I can play two grandmasters and still win half the time! Can YOU truly say the same thing?
Utahraptor: No, but I can truly say that I DON'T CHEAT AT CHESS.
T-Rex: Dude, there's no rule that says you can't play two games at once!
Off panel: Please, there's also no rule that explicitly says a horse can't play chess, but that doesn't mean -
T-Rex: UTAHRAPTOR I HAVE TO GO
T-Rex: TO THE STABLES
T-Rex: FOR... FOR WHAT I CAN ONLY DESCRIBE AS "AWESOME REASONS"
