T-Rex: In 1704, Alexander Selkirk was a sailor who was all, "DUDES, pretty sure this ship is going to sink." Then later, he was all -

T-Rex: "Pretty sure it's still gonna sink, dudes!!"

T-Rex: So at his own request his sailor friends marooned him on a deserted island and sailed away. And it turns out they did sink! But Alex didn't know that on account of how he was marooned alone for the next FOUR YEARS. He thought he'd be rescued in days, not years!
Dromiceiomimus: How'd he survive?
T-Rex: He ate vegetables and shot feral goats, left behind from earlier voyages!

T-Rex: And when his gunpowder ran out, he hunted with his BARE FRIGGIN' HANDS.
Utahraptor: Sounds pretty manly!

T-Rex: Man, he was ultimate manly! He made clothes out of goat skin, sewing them with a NAIL. When his shoes wore out, he discovered his feet had levelled up so much that he didn't even need 'em anymore. And after he was rescued, he went back out to sea!
Utahraptor: What finally killed him?

T-Rex: He died of yellow fever while at sea. It totally sucks, because if his yellow fever had been as big as a goat instead of microscopic, he would've killed it BY HAND and eaten it.
T-Rex: It sounds gross but I totally think he would've done it!!