T-Rex: Let's say you die for whatever dumb reason! There's a chance you become a SPOOKY GHOST.
T-Rex: OR IS THERE??
T-Rex: Here's what ghosts do: throw plates around, rattle chains, point out where their body is buried, and appear in blurry photographs. Here's what ghosts DON'T DO: sit down with friends to catch up on all they missed, call up the media and explain about the afterlife, or run experiments to determine the limits and possibilities of their new existence.
Dromiceiomimus: Not all ghosts are scientists!
T-Rex: Yeah! Surely SOME of them are!!
Utahraptor: Maybe they don't do this because - stay with me - ghosts don't exist?
T-Rex: POSSIBLE BUT BORING.
T-Rex: POSSIBLE BUT INTERESTING: ghosts of PEOPLE don't exist, but ghosts of THINGS do. The ghost rattling chains is actually the CHAINS back from the dead, saying hi the only way they know how! The ghost in the blurry photo is actually the ghost of some crappy photograph the person was in, in real life!
T-Rex: My friend, ghosts of our loved ones are ILLUSIONS, created by things to get our attention! The afterlife isn't for us, Utahraptor. It's for our STUFF.
T-Rex: ...
T-Rex: So yeah anyway heaven is full of candles and old socks, TRY TO ACT SURPRISED
