T-Rex: Oh no, is that a vampire outside your house? Oh crap, what was that rad advice T-Rex gave you?? Wow, I bet NOW that it's too late you really wish you paid attention during

Narrator: HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF AGAINST SUPERNATURAL CREATURES

Narrator: GHOSTS:
T-Rex: Ghosts are incorporeal and thus pose no threat at all. You should of course be aware of how the ghost of every mosquito, spider, cockroach, and poo bug you ever killed is crawling on your face right now. But don't worry! They're ghosts! Does it REALLY matter that they're all piled on top of your eyes, pushing their way in??

Narrator: VAMPIRES:
T-Rex: Just don't have any blood inside you UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
Utahraptor: Easy peasy!!

Narrator: WEREWOLVES:
T-Rex: Like all canids, werewolves can be trained with operant conditioning, or "clicker training". Rather than punishing bad behavior, reinforce your lycanthrope's desirable behavior at the moment it happens with a click and a treat!
Utahraptor: Neat!

Narrator: ANTS:
T-Rex: Ants live in colonies where every ant has a special role, like "soldier", "worker" or "queen"! Amazingly, ants make up almost 25% of all biomass on the planet!
T-Rex: Ants can be easily defeated by stepping on them.
Narrator: THE END