God: T-REX DID YOU KNOW THAT ANYONE CAN SEND OUT A PRESS RELEASE
God: I JUST SENT ONE OUT ALERTING THE PUBLIC THAT I AM HUNGRY
God: GOD HUNGRY IT SAYS
T-Rex: I did not!

God: IT COST ME FIFTY DOLLARS

Narrator: LATER:
T-Rex: Hi Dromiceiomimus! Did you... READ THE PAPER TODAY?
Dromiceiomimus: Nope, on account of how I'm not 65!
T-Rex: Okay, TRUE, but did you read online news today?
Dromiceiomimus: Yep. Nothing much to report!
T-Rex: ALRIGHT, I WILL STOP BEING COY. I TOTALLY PUT OUT A PRESS RELEASE. LET'S ALL GET EXCITED NOW, OKAY?

Utahraptor: That doesn't mean papers picked it up though!
T-Rex: WHAT.

Utahraptor: Yeah, press releases are just you saying stuff; papers will only run with interesting ones. If they haven't any real news to go with already, I mean.
T-Rex: Utahraptor, I say this without exaggeration: this has been the most disappointing day I've had all week.

T-Rex: I say this WITH exaggeration: this has been the MOST DISAPPOINTING DAY IT IS POSSIBLE TO HAVE, in this or any other universe, real or imagined; across all timelines, this day -- my day -- is the objective, subjective, figurative and literal worst.
T-Rex: Plus I'm out fifty bucks!!