T-Rex: Linguistic universals are a small handful of properties that can be universally applied to every natural language on the planet!

T-Rex: For example: every natural language includes the ideas of being "alive" and "dead"!

T-Rex: That's not really surprising, I guess, since every language EVER has been spoken by people who once were alive and are now totes dead. Similarly, every language has concepts of "male" and "female", which suggests that we, as a people, find naughty bits interesting!
Dromiceiomimus: They do define who can procreate.
T-Rex: Um, I KNOW

Utahraptor: Are there any more interesting universals?
T-Rex: Sure!

T-Rex: No natural language uses the "blowing a raspberry" fart noise sound as a phoneme, which is just - it's just - well, it's too bad, Utahraptor.
Utahraptor: Really?
T-Rex: Yes, really! Someone's name could be FARTNOISE FARTNOISE JUNIOR, and that someone could've been ME.

T-Rex: And that brings us to today's Proof We're Not Living In The Best Of All Possible Worlds!
Parchment scroll: “None of us are friends with Fartnoise Fartnoise Junior”