T-Rex: One day little Timmy got another wish from a genie. But we don't care about him anymore because his wish was that all social networks got turned into real live women!

T-Rex: Hah hah! Timmy, what the heck are you doing?!

T-Rex: In any case, it was a VERY exciting time. Twitter was a lunatic racist street corner harasser who sometimes said amazing things juuuuust often enough to keep you coming back! Facebook was a huge gossip who consistently lied about politics, took foreign money to influence domestic elections, AND smeared her critics as anti-Semitic! Also, she tracks everything you do and sells that information to the highest bidder.

Utahraptor: God, Facebook's the worst.
T-Rex: SHE REALLY IS.

T-Rex: Formspring, Orkut, and Google Buzz were all skeletons (because those networks are dead) and Google+ was a rich but obscure old lady who was scheduled to die on August 31st of next year.
Utahraptor: Poor Google+.
T-Rex: She died as she lived: extremely unpopularly.

Off panel: Well, one thing's for sure: I'M definitely never going to spend an average of 135 minutes a day hanging out with these awful people, perhaps via a dedicated app on my phone which lets me check in with them during every spare minute I havOH MY GOD