T-Rex: Today is the day nothing can possibly go wrong! For today is the day I am wearing...

T-Rex: ...MY NEW HAT.

Narrator: SHORTLY:
T-Rex: It has been brought to my attention that I somehow forgot to wear my hat, new or otherwise. Today is an unmitigated catastrophe from which there can be no recovery.
Dromiceiomimus: Your new hat was a curse; had it not existed you would never have known the fount of despair that comes from forgetting to wear it.
T-Rex: Hard agree.

Narrator: THE NEXT DAY:
T-Rex: Now, TODAY is the day I wear my new hat! I -
Utahraptor: Hatless again, my dude.

T-Rex: Utahraptor, if someone tells you making change is easy, you call them a liar. I've been trying to wear a new hat for two days and I still can't nail it. Who's the philosopher who said life is suffering?
Utahraptor: Um... all of them, at some point?
T-Rex: Well, they NAILED IT.

Narrator: TWO DAYS LATER:
T-Rex: I wore my new hat yesterday!! And I will say this:
T-Rex: *sigh*
T-Rex: It was JUST OKAY