T-Rex: One January afternoon, at precisely 3:14:52 pm, all the snowmen in the world became alive. They were sapient, sentient, intelligent, and communicative.
T-Rex: It was as we'd always feared:

T-Rex: FROSTY HAD BEEN GENERALIZED.

T-Rex: Winter was spent negotiating with this new race of snow people, since they were fully aware their time was limited unless they could be airlifted to the poles or granted walk-in freezer access. By spring, most had begun building lives in the frigid extremes of our now-shared planet.
Dromiceiomimus: It makes sense! They're a new race supremely adapted for the cold!

Utahraptor: And snow people don't consume resources AND are "born" fully educated.
T-Rex: EXACTLY.

T-Rex: We could now turn SNOW into INTELLIGENCE. Of course, THEY realized that too, and could become geniuses by simply putting more snow on their heads. They could also become ripped by giving themselves snow muscles.
T-Rex: Soon, the Earth was not enough.

T-Rex: Alien races never understood why the "ice comets" they detected would seem to be headed directly towards their planet until it was much, much too late.
T-Rex: THE END.
T-Rex: P.S.: MY STORY IS CALLED "ICE TO BEAT YOU", OBVIOUSLY