God: T-REX IF YOU SLOW DOWN THE EARTH'S ORBIT YOU GET A SHORTER YEAR NOT A LONGER ONE
T-Rex: What?

God: YOU SLOW DOWN A PLANET YOU SHRINK ITS ORBITAL RADIUS
T-Rex: Huh??

God: IF YOU SLOW DOWN A PLANET'S ORBIT IT DOESN'T STAY IN THE SAME ORBIT
God: BUT RATHER THAT ORBIT GETS SMALLER
God: SO IF YOU SLOWED DOWN THE EARTH YOU WOULDN'T GET AN EXTRA HOLIDAY
God: YOU'D LOSE ONE
T-Rex: Utahraptor!!

Utahraptor: You hollered?
T-Rex: You were WRONG, bro!

T-Rex: You tried to play off slowing down the Earth like we'd all get an extra holiday, but we're actually gonna LOSE holidays! What are we going to cancel, huh?? CHRISTMAS? BOXING DAY? VALENTINE'S DAY? BOXING DAY (OBSERVED)??
Utahraptor: That one.
T-Rex: Wait, yeah, that one is obviously the one we'll dump.

Narrator: AND THAT'S THE TRUE STORY OF WHY WE ONLY HAVE ONE BOXING DAY NOW.
T-Rex: What an amazing and true AND ALSO EXTREMELY SATISFYING tale!