T-Rex: Let us suppose that, rather than Bruce Wayne's parents getting killed by Gotham muggers, they're killed off the coast of Africa while on safari!
T-Rex: So rather than being raised by his butler, Bruce is raised by wild apes!
T-Rex: Now, this Bruce would obviously still be an exceptionally brilliant, driven, and fearless young man with an innate thirst for justice. Competing with apes would train him to peak human physicality, just as he would otherwise in Gotham. In fact, all that WOULD change is his theme: instead of bat-ropes, vines. Instead of a Kevlar bodysuit, an animal-skin loincloth.
T-Rex: In other words, Bruce Wayne...
Utahraptor: ...would become TARZAN OF THE APES.
T-Rex: YES.
T-Rex: Tarzan is nothing but primitivist alternate-universe Batman fanfic!!
Utahraptor: Tarzan came out BEFORE Batman, dude. Tarzan isn't "Jungle Batman". BATMAN is "City Tarzan, but also he's rich, and also there's a murder clown, a riddle enthusiast, some talking clay and a man who hates being warm".
Off panel: T-Rex, I know you love Batman, but you need to accept the truth. Batman is nothing more than AU TARZAN FANFIC.
T-Rex: Ow!!
T-Rex: Dude, your ideas, they're --
T-Rex: they're SO WRONG that I think they're physically hurting me
