T-Rex: Once upon a time Jay found a magic lamp with a genie inside! "You get one wish," the genie said. "This didn't work out so well in the other timeline, so uh, be careful?"

T-Rex: Jay wished for all the powers of Superman! Silver-age, specifically.

T-Rex: Jay got his wish, but Clark had spent YEARS learning to control his powers, and Jay hadn't. X-rays and heat vision began spewing out of his eyes, while his freeze breath began encasing everything around him in giant ice cubes. He covered his face and flew to the moon, where he could train in safety!

Utahraptor: Silver-age Superman powers let you breathe on the moon?
T-Rex: Among other places, yes.

T-Rex: Anyway, he returned to Earth years later, ready to be a superhero. Unfortunately his first mission was to save technicians from a nuclear meltdown, during which he himself became SEVERELY irradiated, as toxic as actual nuclear waste. He returned to the moon, alone.
Utahraptor: I like your stories better with happy endings.

T-Rex: Hello? He gets to live ON THE MOON and nobody is ever going to bother him except astronauts!
T-Rex: How is that not everyone's ULTIMATE FANTASY