T-Rex: I took the liberty of researching the all-time bestselling books across the entire planet and SURPRISE! They're all like, religious books!

T-Rex: They're like, bibles and whatever!

T-Rex: This is cheating: you've got a market segment that thinks GOD LITERALLY WROTE THIS BOOK AND NOW LITERALLY WANTS YOU TO BUY IT, and worse, that THE ACTUAL 100% LEGIT RULES FOR HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE ARE CONTAINED WITHIN. Total unfair market advantage. It's ridiculous.
T-Rex: My Sherlock Holmes Meets Sherlette Halmos fic can't compete with that.

Utahraptor: "Sherlette Halmos"?
T-Rex: An evil, female Sherlock!

T-Rex: She's packed AND she's stacked, specially in the back, and you'll want to thank her mother for a butt like that. Will readers get some fries with that shake-shake bootie? If books could kill, this would be an uzi. It's a shotgun: bang! What's up with that new book I'm releasing this fall season?

T-Rex: "You make me wanna shoop, which means 'investigate crimes', Sherlock whispered in erotic awe."