T-Rex: Hello! I have played rugby exactly once?

Narrator: RUGBY AS SHE IS PLAYED

T-Rex: I was young, in primary school, and sports were a thing that I hated. Team sports, really, because - oh god, teams. Being the last to be chosen was just the beginning: you knew you had an hour ahead of you of playing a game where you didn't know the rules but everyone else did, an hour of not being sure who was on your team and who wasn't, an hour where the only relief was when you somehow threw the ball away in the right direction after it came to you.

Utahraptor: This is all about you! What about rugby?
T-Rex: What about it?! Grab the ball, try to get to the other side.

T-Rex: The other team will be doing the same. Sometimes, even the teacher will yell at you in frustration because you don't know what's going on. That's great. I love getting yelled at by everyone. Let's assume all kids know the rules to all sports ever, because nothing's more interesting to a child than LEARNING RULES.

T-Rex: Our team lost, badly, and everyone blamed me. But how is that fair? Any TEAM sport is broken if one player can ruin the game; I should be able to influence no more than 1/$numplayers of the total score!
T-Rex: Nobody listens in the locker room when you say that though