Narrator: THE STORY OF TANTALUS
T-Rex: So Tantalus was a Greek dude who threw a dinner party for the gods! And he thought to himself, "I need to make sure this party goes off without a hitch. I'm going to serve the PERFECT MEAL."
T-Rex: Accordingly, he kills his son, chops him up, and makes him into stew!
T-Rex: So the gods show up and they're thinking "This is gross. This is a stew made out of a dude. PASS." except for one god whose daughter just got abducted so she's sad and so she eats the stew? Because she's distracted? By sadness? Anyway after the dinner party Zeus decides he has the technology to rebuild stew guy, and so he orders it done, only AN ENTIRE SHOULDER is missing because it got eaten. By a god. Because she was sad.
Utahraptor: So they get him a new shoulder made of ivory!
T-Rex: Yep!
T-Rex: And clearly, THAT SOLVES ALL THE PROBLEMS. The kid grows up super handsome, and to punish Tantalus for his - hosting? - they put him in a pool of water just beneath the branches of a fruit tree. But when he tries to drink, the water moves away, and when he tries to eat, the branches move away!
T-Rex: Hence the origin of our word "tantalizing", for something desired but just out of reach! THE END.
T-Rex: PS: This is the Actual Theology of the seminal culture of western civilization
