T-Rex: I need to get the best present EVER for Utahraptor this year. And that present is clearly, a - um... a...
Narrator: HERE IS WHERE IT ALL GOES WRONG:
T-Rex: A spouse!!
T-Rex: It's the best gift! If things go well then years later people will say "How did you two meet?" and he can say "T-Rex hooked us up for Christmas! BEST GIFT EVER!!" and then they can high five!
Dromiceiomimus: Yeah, but when it goes poorly, your gift is nothing but an INCREDIBLY AWKWARD BOXING DAY.
T-Rex: I'm doing it!!
Narrator: LATER:
Utahraptor: So I got the link you emailed me, T-Rex!
T-Rex: Yes! Go on...!
Utahraptor: It's a dating profile for me, using a picture taken through my kitchen window. My hair colour is given as "bald but kool", my age as "about my age, I'd say", and my interests as "spouses" and "ASCII art thumbs up" and then the rest of my profile is this enormous ASCII art thumbs up.
T-Rex: Hah!
T-Rex: 〚thinks〛 Upon closer inspection that was actually more a gift for me than Utahraptor
