T-Rex: Yay! PATIO SEASON IS BACK. I love to go out and have a fun meal in the sun with my pals!!
T-Rex: And yet, I can't help but feel I'm forgetting something...
Narrator: LATER:
T-Rex: AW FRIG!!
T-Rex: SMOKERS
T-Rex: Smoking is farting. It is! You can end up sitting next to people who CHAIN FART through their entire meal, and then their farts get in your face and then your clothes smell like farts. Some farters know their habit is grossnasty so they blow their farts away from their dining companions, TOWARDS EVERYONE ELSE INSTEAD. That's what smoking is.
T-Rex: Oh, wait, no, silly me, I forgot something! THEIR FARTS CAN LITERALLY GIVE YOU CANCER.
Utahraptor: But it's an addiction!
T-Rex: IT'S ONE OF THE LEADING CAUSES OF PREVENTABLE DEATH.
Utahraptor: It can be really hard to quit, dude!
T-Rex: Man, you want to sit at home and fart until the air's blue, I'm not gonna stop you. But when you go out in public and fart all over the place, isn't that rude? Isn't that rude no matter how addicted you are to farting??
T-Rex: "As a farter, I feel I am entitled to two 15-minute fart breaks each day where I go outside and just fart and fart and fart"
T-Rex: THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT PEOPLE SAY!
T-Rex: ...FOR GENEROUS VALUES OF "LITERALLY"
