T-Rex: It's August. I love August! EVERYONE loves August!
T-Rex: With that in mind, it's time for

Narrator: FUN FACTS ABOUT AUGUST

Dromiceiomimus: Leo and Virgo are zodiac signs for August!
T-Rex: WOOOO!
Dromiceiomimus: The Perseid meteor shower usually happens in August!
T-Rex: HELL YEAH!
Dromiceiomimus: Every atomic bomb used in war was dropped in August!
T-Rex: Wh--
T-Rex: ...What?

Utahraptor: August is named after Augustus, who despite being a Roman emperor, still died alone... as must we all!
T-Rex: What? WHAT?

T-Rex: NEITHER OF THESE FACTS ARE WOOWORTHY. I want FUN August facts, not -
Utahraptor: If 1000 people died every day in August, 31 thousand people would be dead by the time the month is out!
T-Rex: THIS ISN'T EVEN A GOOD AUGUST FACT

Off panel: The first communications satellite launched in August!
T-Rex: Finally! WOOO!
Off panel: Such satellites facilitate ubiquitous corporate and governmental surveillance across the planet.
T-Rex: DAMN IT, AUGUST