T-Rex: I used to be a guy who'd say, "Historians: nice folks! They are Most Definitely not screwing with us."
T-Rex: I used to volunteer those very sentences at parties!
T-Rex: NOT ANYMORE!
T-Rex: Okay, so according to HISTORIANS there was a dude named Tarrare who lived in France and ate a lot. And when he ran out of food, he ate scraps. And then garbage from the gutter. And then he joined the army where he gobbled a meal meant for 15 men, and then he ate a cat alive. And then he threw up its fur. And later he was hospitalized and then later accused of trying to eat CORPSES from the MORGUE.
Utahraptor: You call shenanigans??
T-Rex: I CALL SHENANIGANS.
T-Rex: Probably there was a Tarrare dude who ate a lot, sure. WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE. But his story is ridiculous. The army wanted to use him as a spy because they could keep boxed secret messages in his amazing distended stomach? And when he proved he could swallow boxes whole, they gave him 30 pounds of raw bull lungs as a reward??
T-Rex: That should've been ME
